An Open Letter from One Working Mom to Another

Dear Working Mom,

             Life gets crazy, doesn't it? Between work, kids, husband, church, and everything else in life, I'm sure your time is scarce. So I'll try not to take too much of it- I just wanted to share some things I've learned as a working mom and wife.


1. Don't Push Your Children to the Side

I know when you get home from work, the last thing you really want to do is make dinner, do the dishes, clean the kitchen, and start a load of laundry. But if life is going to happen and the practical needs  of your family be met, that's exactly what you have to do. Perhaps the only thing that could make it more exhausting is doing all of it while playing catch with your toddler! How much easier and faster everything is if you put on a movie for your toddler while you finish up! Easier and faster, yes. But is it the best? 

Remember that your toddler will only be a toddler for only a while. He will only want you to to you and you alone for a while. So dig deep and play catch while you brown the hamburger for dinner! Delight in the fact that you child wants you and isn't content to settle for anyone else. That time will be gone before you know it. After all, doesn't it seem like yesterday that you were still carrying a newborn everywhere? So play catch with as much joy as you can, and remember it's a sign of how much your child loves you, and how much they missed you while you were gone. 

2. Don't Keep Score with Your Husband

Please don't ever keep tally marks of how much you've done and how much your husband has done! Nothing will kill your relationship faster than bitter feelings and resentment over who's done more dishes or worked more hours. Start everyday with a clean slate, and don't fill it up! Resolve every day to love, serve, honor and respect him to the best of your ability that day- and don't remember what you did for him yesterday! Love keeps no record of wrongs, and I don't believe it keeps a record of rights either.  

Does it matter in the end if you worked exactly 3.82 hours more than he did this week or did the dishes 5 more times than he did? No, it doesn't. I know it feels like it does, but it doesn't. Look instead at his heart= does he love you and God? Does he desire your best? If the answers are yes, you are blessed beyond measure! 

Your husband is human, and there may be times you need to gently remind him that you need his help, that you want his help. But always do so prayerfully and respectfully! I bet that sometimes he doesn't realize you want his help, and simply doesn't want to get in your way. Love always hopes- so trust your husband's heart. He wants your best, and he will respond with grace. So obey the Lord, put your husband before yourself, and pray for God to work in you as well as him. 


Oh, dear working mother, your plate is full! But so is your heart, your joy, and your love! Remember that, and keep perspective! 


Love,

A Working Mother Who Gets It

Pizza and Stitches: God in the Ordinary!

The description of this blog is "An ordinary person in search of the divine workings of an extraordinary God in the midst of very normal circumstances." Last week, I had such an excellent example of God showing up in the ordinary that I just have to share it with you! Ready? Grab some popcorn and let's go. :) 


It all started 2 years ago. Yes, 2 years ago. Let me explain. 2 years ago, Logan and I were helping with a week long Bible Kids Club at an apartment complex. There were LOTS of kids and 3 teachers. Oops. 

Me and Breydin at the Kids Club.

So, to make that arrangement work, the three teachers asked two teenage boys, Tristan and Breydin, from North Valley Bible Church to help with crowd control. They said ok, and did a great job helping. Logan and I said we were going to take them out to dinner to thank them for their willingness and excellent

Tristan (right) and Josiah at the Kids Club, with another helper (Sarah)

service. We budgeted the money, promised to set something up, and looked forward to it.


Fast forward two years. Life gets busy, changes happen, and we never get around to taking them out. But, we still have the money budgeted! Some of the changes that happened result in Logan and I taking over the youth group at North Valley Bible Church, which consists mainly of Tristan and Breydin. :O 



Every week, Tristan and Breydin come to our house for dinner and a Bible Study. So we say to each other, "Why not take them out for the dinner we promised them for doing such a great job helping with the Kids Club?" Perfect! We'll finally fulfill our promise and they'll be properly thanked for their service. 



So, last Friday we took them out to Pizza Pie Cafe, a delicious all-you-can-eat pizza place that our family loves. Being a Friday night, the line was waayyy long so we ended up waiting for awhile. While we're waiting, Josiah starts hanging out with some other kids around the little "vending machines". You know the kind. The 25 cent money stealers that attract kids like Elsa attracts ice. 



This particular money stealing attraction featured rubber bouncy balls which are Josiah's kryptonite. He immediately started begging for one of these balls and was told no. For starters, I didn't have a quarter. For enders, even if I did I wasn't going to buy him anything from those money sucking machines. That's not a path I'm walking down. 

Not the bouncy ball, but similar.

As I was explaining to him that he would just have to deal with the heart break of not obtaining the coveted rubber bouncy ball, one of the little boys he'd been standing with walked up.

 This little boy held out his hand to Josiah and offered him what his heart so desperately sought- the rubber bouncy ball! I looked to the left and saw a beaming mother, obviously the master mind behind the whole thing. I smiled and said thank you, while inwardly thinking, "Really? Come on! If I wanted my son to have a bouncy ball, I would have bought him one myself!" But let me tell you, I was thankful for that little bouncy ball before the night was over!

All of us at Pizza Pie Cafe!

The little boy returned to his mother, I went back to our youth group, and Josiah clutched his prize triumphantly in his little hand. It kept him busy for the next 15 minutes while we waited to sit down, and he actually did a fairly good job of not throwing it at peoples heads. Not too hard, at least. 


Fast forward an hour and a half. We pull into our driveway (which is made of asphalt and has little pebbles sticking out of it) and start waddling like overstuffed toads into our house. Josiah is walking with Logan, still exclaiming over his good fortune in getting his rubber bouncy ball and still waving it about happily.

In one of those inexplicable "How did that even happen" moments, Josiah trips over something. (Was it his foot? A tiny pebble? An invisible cat?)

The Injury!

 He does a little half turn and smacks the side of his head against the asphalt. Blood starts pouring out of this tiny little piercing on the side of his head, and the wailing starts.


Logan and I cleaned him up as best we could and discovered this tiny little cut was deep. We made our first parenting decision relating to an injury- we're going to the ER to get stitches. 


So we went to the ER and spent the next four hours waiting in various locations of the ER. Josiah clutched his little rubber bouncy ball through the whole ordeal of getting his cut cleaned, having a syringe stuck inside his open cut, and having two little stitches put in.

 

Waiting room faces!

If you know my son (or any two and a half year old, probably) you'd know that he never goes anywhere without a toy. He finds security and peace in having one, and occupies himself with it while I'm hauling him around running errands. 

Seriously, we waited a long time.

In this case, he clutched his little rubber bouncy ball as comfort through what was probably a pretty scary experience for a very tired two year old, and distracted himself from needles, nurses, and pain with it.

Brave faces!

Post-stitches. Not the best picture, but you get the idea.

Reflecting on it later, Logan and I were amazed at God's goodness to us and a little two year old who loves bouncy balls. God knew I wasn't going to buy Josiah that little rubber bouncy ball (which is a fine decision), and He knew that Josiah was going to go to the ER without having time to go home and get a toy of his own. So, He moved in the heart of a beaming mother and her son to give Josiah a little rubber bouncy ball to get him through the experience. The result? Blessings all around! The mother and her son got a good memory of giving a toy to a cute little boy, Josiah got the comfort of his favorite kind of toy in the ER, and we got to see how much God loves us and our son. 


See what I mean about the Divine Ordinary? God loves to bless us through things that seem so ordinary we may not even notice them unless we're looking for them.

God blessed us through a little rubber bouncy ball this week- how has He blessed you? 

The Tension Between Running and Resting

Do you ever just get sick of people? I do!


Sometimes, between the demands of everyday practical life and the emotional demands of relationships, it just doesn't feel like we have anything left to give to anyone. These feelings  infect and affect all of our lives. And left unchecked, they tear down the people and relationships we love the most. 


But what do we do with those feelings? Do we just throw up our hands, slam our doors, and tell everyone to take a hike? Do we pretend that we're fine when we're not, and continue to run on emotional fumes? What are we supposed to do? 


 Being there to help and serve other people is a good thing, and taking time to care for yourself emotionally is a good thing. But both of them end up being bad if we take them to extremes. And it's here we find the tension between running and resting. 

My husband and I were blessed to have a night away together last week to celebrate our anniversary! We went to an awesome hotel, The Anniversary Inn, (which has a ton of amazing, themed rooms. We stayed in the "King Arthur" suite) and had a great time simply being together.

Logan in our "castle"!

And you know what I discovered? In the midst of all my practical everyday running, trying to do my best to serve him, I had lost sight of actually loving him.  I had allowed the errands, cleaning, and tasks to cause me to forget that I love this man. (Don't judge, you know you do it too. )

When Logan and I got married, I made a vow to serve him, submit to him, and help him carry out God's purpose for his life. And I was excited to make that promise because I loved him. But 3 1/2 years down the road, as the practical outworking of that vow continues, it's easy to allow dedication to a vow eclipse 

There was a sword in the room! 

dedication to a person. And when that happens, we lose the joy of the relationship. It becomes monotonous drudgery, or worse, something that causes resentment in our hearts.

But when we took time away from the practical pressures of life and just enjoyed one another, I remembered why I committed my life to this man in the first place- because I love him. I have an awesome husband who loves me more than I can ever understand (he proved it on our getaway by memorizing and reciting this Shakespeare sonnet to me :O). But it's easy to forget how much he loves me when I don't take time to allow him to remind me.

They brought breakfast to our room! 

I came back from our getaway refreshed in his love for me and ready to jump back in to practical life. And you know what? Sweeping the kitchen floor doesn't seem as much like drudgery as it did before. I've been reminded that I do it because I love my husband, and not because of obligation.

The same principle applies to our relationship with God and other people. At the beginning of our relationship with God, we're serving him and others because we love God. We can't get over what God has done for us, what He's saved us from, and what He's given us in Christ. And so we serve Him from the overflow of our hearts!

Serious face....

But a few years down the road, some of the magic of what God has done for us has been forgotten. We've gotten so caught up in the practical outworking of our salvation that we've forgotten that we love the One who gave it to us. Our service to God and others becomes monotony, or worse, a cause of resentment toward them and God.

When that happens, we need to take time away and refresh ourselves in the love God has for us. We need to remember why we started serving Him and others in the first place- because we love Him. 


Don't allow the running of life to rob you of one of God's greatest gifts: Resting in His love. Take time to allow Him to show you His love, and remember why you committed your life to Him in the first place.


Resting in love, whether it be God's love or the love of another person, is The Divine Ordinary- God showing up in the middle of our ordinary lives. Take it for the gift it is, and cherish it. 



 

Have you had a similar experience? Share it in the comments!

The Divine Ordinary- Searching for God in Every Day Life

Errands. Groceries. Menus. Work. Diapers. Laundry... the list goes on. If you've ever looked at your life and thought, "Where is God in the midst of this ordinary stuff?"-You're not alone!

Who am I? (If your mind just jumped to Jean Valjean, we are kindred spirits. If it didn't, I'm sure we can still work it out. Anyway....)

Here's my glamor shot! :)

Who am I? That question can be answered in many different ways. My name is Rachel. I'm a wife, mother, employee, missionary, and friend. I love acting, directing, musicals, plays, and movies. I love writing (hence, the blog), singing, and organizing things.                                                                 

Above everything else, I'm a follower of Jesus Christ. He has saved me from my sin through His death on the cross and resurrection from the dead. Everything else about myself pales in comparison to this one thing- Jesus is my Savior, and I want to know Him more.


 In fact, that's where the name of the blog comes from. I have to give credit where it's due, my wonderful husband Logan (over to the left!) came up with the name "Divine Conclusion" a few years ago. We've been using it as the title of our missionary newsletter ever since, and it has branched out to become an umbrella name for every area of our lives. 

The title comes from 2nd Corinthians 5:14-15. "For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this: that One died for all, therefore all have died. And He died for all that those who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf."

So, who am I? I'm an ordinary person, who is loved by an extraordinary God. My hope is that through this blog, you and I can find more and more how our ordinary lives intersect with the divine- that is, with the working of God in this world and in us. 

The inquisitive 2 year old!

I don't know about you, but sometimes when I'm doing the dishes for the 127th time in one week, or making dinner for the 233rd time in one year, or answering the same question my two-year old has asked for the 76th time in one day, the divine working of God seems pretty far away. 

And yet, what I'm learning is that God is in the ordinary. He loves it because He created it- and it's in the ordinary that He most often dwells. We just have to learn to look for Him there. 

So I'm an ordinary person in search of the divine workings of an extraordinary God in the midst of very normal circumstances. Will you join me so we can search together? 


To learn more about me, click here.