An Open Letter from One Working Mom to Another

Dear Working Mom,

             Life gets crazy, doesn't it? Between work, kids, husband, church, and everything else in life, I'm sure your time is scarce. So I'll try not to take too much of it- I just wanted to share some things I've learned as a working mom and wife.


1. Don't Push Your Children to the Side

I know when you get home from work, the last thing you really want to do is make dinner, do the dishes, clean the kitchen, and start a load of laundry. But if life is going to happen and the practical needs  of your family be met, that's exactly what you have to do. Perhaps the only thing that could make it more exhausting is doing all of it while playing catch with your toddler! How much easier and faster everything is if you put on a movie for your toddler while you finish up! Easier and faster, yes. But is it the best? 

Remember that your toddler will only be a toddler for only a while. He will only want you to to you and you alone for a while. So dig deep and play catch while you brown the hamburger for dinner! Delight in the fact that you child wants you and isn't content to settle for anyone else. That time will be gone before you know it. After all, doesn't it seem like yesterday that you were still carrying a newborn everywhere? So play catch with as much joy as you can, and remember it's a sign of how much your child loves you, and how much they missed you while you were gone. 

2. Don't Keep Score with Your Husband

Please don't ever keep tally marks of how much you've done and how much your husband has done! Nothing will kill your relationship faster than bitter feelings and resentment over who's done more dishes or worked more hours. Start everyday with a clean slate, and don't fill it up! Resolve every day to love, serve, honor and respect him to the best of your ability that day- and don't remember what you did for him yesterday! Love keeps no record of wrongs, and I don't believe it keeps a record of rights either.  

Does it matter in the end if you worked exactly 3.82 hours more than he did this week or did the dishes 5 more times than he did? No, it doesn't. I know it feels like it does, but it doesn't. Look instead at his heart= does he love you and God? Does he desire your best? If the answers are yes, you are blessed beyond measure! 

Your husband is human, and there may be times you need to gently remind him that you need his help, that you want his help. But always do so prayerfully and respectfully! I bet that sometimes he doesn't realize you want his help, and simply doesn't want to get in your way. Love always hopes- so trust your husband's heart. He wants your best, and he will respond with grace. So obey the Lord, put your husband before yourself, and pray for God to work in you as well as him. 


Oh, dear working mother, your plate is full! But so is your heart, your joy, and your love! Remember that, and keep perspective! 


Love,

A Working Mother Who Gets It

The Tension Between Running and Resting

Do you ever just get sick of people? I do!


Sometimes, between the demands of everyday practical life and the emotional demands of relationships, it just doesn't feel like we have anything left to give to anyone. These feelings  infect and affect all of our lives. And left unchecked, they tear down the people and relationships we love the most. 


But what do we do with those feelings? Do we just throw up our hands, slam our doors, and tell everyone to take a hike? Do we pretend that we're fine when we're not, and continue to run on emotional fumes? What are we supposed to do? 


 Being there to help and serve other people is a good thing, and taking time to care for yourself emotionally is a good thing. But both of them end up being bad if we take them to extremes. And it's here we find the tension between running and resting. 

My husband and I were blessed to have a night away together last week to celebrate our anniversary! We went to an awesome hotel, The Anniversary Inn, (which has a ton of amazing, themed rooms. We stayed in the "King Arthur" suite) and had a great time simply being together.

Logan in our "castle"!

And you know what I discovered? In the midst of all my practical everyday running, trying to do my best to serve him, I had lost sight of actually loving him.  I had allowed the errands, cleaning, and tasks to cause me to forget that I love this man. (Don't judge, you know you do it too. )

When Logan and I got married, I made a vow to serve him, submit to him, and help him carry out God's purpose for his life. And I was excited to make that promise because I loved him. But 3 1/2 years down the road, as the practical outworking of that vow continues, it's easy to allow dedication to a vow eclipse 

There was a sword in the room! 

dedication to a person. And when that happens, we lose the joy of the relationship. It becomes monotonous drudgery, or worse, something that causes resentment in our hearts.

But when we took time away from the practical pressures of life and just enjoyed one another, I remembered why I committed my life to this man in the first place- because I love him. I have an awesome husband who loves me more than I can ever understand (he proved it on our getaway by memorizing and reciting this Shakespeare sonnet to me :O). But it's easy to forget how much he loves me when I don't take time to allow him to remind me.

They brought breakfast to our room! 

I came back from our getaway refreshed in his love for me and ready to jump back in to practical life. And you know what? Sweeping the kitchen floor doesn't seem as much like drudgery as it did before. I've been reminded that I do it because I love my husband, and not because of obligation.

The same principle applies to our relationship with God and other people. At the beginning of our relationship with God, we're serving him and others because we love God. We can't get over what God has done for us, what He's saved us from, and what He's given us in Christ. And so we serve Him from the overflow of our hearts!

Serious face....

But a few years down the road, some of the magic of what God has done for us has been forgotten. We've gotten so caught up in the practical outworking of our salvation that we've forgotten that we love the One who gave it to us. Our service to God and others becomes monotony, or worse, a cause of resentment toward them and God.

When that happens, we need to take time away and refresh ourselves in the love God has for us. We need to remember why we started serving Him and others in the first place- because we love Him. 


Don't allow the running of life to rob you of one of God's greatest gifts: Resting in His love. Take time to allow Him to show you His love, and remember why you committed your life to Him in the first place.


Resting in love, whether it be God's love or the love of another person, is The Divine Ordinary- God showing up in the middle of our ordinary lives. Take it for the gift it is, and cherish it. 



 

Have you had a similar experience? Share it in the comments!